Memory Lane
by BethSHeartbeat
Summary: Zoe and Max have slept together again after all these months, but when he later brushes her off she knows she needs to do something to show him she's changed.


The alarm sounded from somewhere in the distance and after a few seconds, brought the consultant back to reality. From beside her she could feel the warmth that came only from someone sharing her bed, only this time, unlike six months ago, she didn't feel a rush of guilt. No time seemed to have passed at all though, as Max failed to be woken by the alarm, much like when they'd been living together. Instead of waking her estranged husband, she lay a little longer just watching him as he slept, for fear that she was dreaming or that if she woke him, he'd disappear. It wasn't long before Max's phone sprung to life, which did wake the sleeping porter. Zoe watched him for a moment as his eyes tried desperately to adjust to the light in the room, before it became clear in his expression that he was confused by his surroundings and then the realisation hit.

"Morning." Zoe greeted shyly, unsure of what she was supposed to do in this situation. "We haven't got long until we need to be in work, I'll get you a drink, that'll wake you up." Zoe fussed, not wanting to hear what she was now sure was coming.

"Zoe, stop." Max told her, and instantly she found herself back perching on the end of the bed as Max took her hand in his. He looked around the room, memories of all the nights they'd spent in there flooded his mind, from their first night living together to their engagement celebrations to the last time they'd been there together on the morning of their wedding. It was a matter of seconds before the happy memories were replaced with images of his wife with another man and the heartbreak that followed. "I...I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here. Last night shouldn't have happened." He eventually told her as he gathered his clothing up and left.

Her phone signalled that it was time to leave for work and yet she remained on her bed. The pillow on Max's side now smelt just like him again, causing her heart to break a little more but swell at the same time. It had been clear from Max's face what had stopped them trying again, it wasn't a lack of love but instead a lack of trust and this time Zoe intended to fix that. Pulling herself together again she swiftly left her apartment and left for work, determined that by the end of the day she'd have put her plan into motion.

"Max?" Zoe asked, dropping the cigarette that she'd been smoking as she saw Max walk out of the ED. The voice was enough to make him well aware of who was talking to him, and yet he still looked up at her. Zoe walked towards him, still unsure of how she was going to build his trust.

"If this is about last night, then it was never going to work." He told her, not pausing to look at her before he walked past and back into the ED, aware that there was nothing else that they needed to talk about. Zoe stood staring in the direction that Max had just walked away in.

"Zoe?" Dylan asked as he came outside, but instead of a response Zoe merely walked past him, not bothering to acknowledged Dylan's presence.

"Where were you last night? Don't tell me you slept with her after you're first date!" Robyn asked finally as she walked into the staffroom, only to find Max sitting staring into the mug in front of him. "Earth to Max." Robyn tried as her brother failed to respond to her questions.

"Oh erm sorry, no I didn't sleep with her. Let's just say it wasn't the most successful date I've been on." Max replied as he finally looked up, then finally remembered the steri-strips on his cheek.

"What happened to your face?" She asked, worry clear in her voice as bruising coloured the skin around the strips.

"Zoe fixed it." Max offered, unwilling to expand for fear of Robyn working out what had happened and where he had been the night before.

"You slept with Zoe." Robyn stated, and then looked down at the envelope in her hand, when Noel had given it to her, she'd thought nothing of it but now the scrawl of her brother's name across it was unmistakably Zoe's handwriting. Max looked up again and then, noticing Robyn's eyes were no longer on him, followed the direction in which she was looking. Unlike Robyn, he instantly recognised the spidery scrawl of his estranged wife's handwriting. Max said nothing as he reached out and gently took the envelope from the younger nurse. "Be careful." She warned before she left the room, sensing that she was no longer needed in the room. The lack of judgement or emotion in Robyn's voice made Max feel anxious, Robyn had been very anti Zoe since their wedding but now she didn't seem opposed to the idea of 'Zax.'

He turned the envelope over in his hands and then back over again, his emotions were all over the place and somewhere inside he knew that opening the envelope would confuse everything even more. Unbeknown to him, Zoe watched silently from just outside the staffroom, she felt her heart break as the internal battle Max faced was being played out on his face.

'Max,

'Impossible to get over' that's what you said to me yesterday, and I'm not sure you realise how close to the truth you were, if that's what you want, I'm willing to try. Remember I love you, that's perhaps something I didn't tell you often enough and something I definitely failed to show you. I will forever live with the guilt of what I did to you, and the heartbreak over losing the person who meant most to me in this world. Maybe this is scaring you, after all, we both know I don't do this kind of thing, it was always definitely more your forte. If somewhere deep inside you aren't ready to move on, then you know where I am, maybe you don't trust me now and that it'll take time but I'll prove that we can work. You told me that this was never going to work, and maybe once upon a time I'd have agreed with you, I'd have probably said it myself. We defied every odd going and say the word and we can work towards that again. I'll be on the roof in the spot we once used to hide out in after our shift ends, I suppose it's up to you what happens next.

Zoe x'

He looked up and found his immediate surroundings to be empty, where he'd previously felt the warmth of someone's gaze was now a slightly feeling of emptiness. His head was conflicted but his heart knew what he wanted, and before he realised what he was doing, he was on the roof.

Zoe watched him cautiously, unsure of whether he'd come to tell her to move on, or whether he'd decided to give her a second chance. From her bag she produced two curly Wurlys, and handed one to him, with a smile he accepted the chocolate, his hand brushing hers slightly as he took it. They opened their chocolate and stood in silence for a bit, neither sure of what to say to one another.

"Why the roof?" Max asked, breaking the tension that had descended on them like a blanket. Zoe turned slightly, and smiled.

"Remember when we met up here, when we were hiding from the ED, when it was just us?" She asked, a smile spreading across Max's face as he too remembered. "Well I thought if maybe we went on a trip down memory lane, then you might remember why we did work?" She tried, her voice almost a whisper by the end as she feared his response.

"Let's go."

They visited the cupboard where they had frequently had sex, the on call room for much the same reason, the spot outside the pub where they'd shared their first kiss and had gotten engaged. They stopped for a quick drink in the pub, where they had stopped all too many times in the past, but most noticeably when she'd figured he'd bought her flowers and when they'd had their engagement party. They stopped outside the registry office, and sat briefly in the bus stop that they'd sat in once before. The trip took them to the edge of the bay, where their wedding had gone up in flames, but also where they'd visited first as a newly married couple. It wasn't long before darkness fell upon Holby, and the pair pulled into another car park. Without word Zoe produced a cloth and wrapped it around Max's eyes, before securing it at the back.

"Do I want to know why you had that?" Max asked, trying to change the mood slightly.

"Shut up." She responded playfully, still she helped him out the car and led him into the warmth. It was then that Max realised what was going on, and the moment that she was trying to recreate. He removed the blindfold carefully as he heard the door shutting behind him.

"Zoe..."

"Remember the day we bought this?" She asked, turning to face him again as she dumped her keys on the side. Max nodded, not trusting himself to speak again yet. "Remember how happy we were? Think of all the nights we spent on this sofa, wrapped in each other's arms, think of last night. We can be happy Max, I made a mistake and yes it was a big mistake but don't throw away everything because of it. We can still be happy, it might take a while but I believe we can get back to where we were." She told him, no longer able to look at him for fear of what his facial expressions would tell her. The sight of the bay out the window, the thing that usually offered a degree of comfort, was now helping nothing.

"I made a mistake..." Max began, before Zoe interrupted thinking that he was about to leave.

"Don't go, not yet." She begged, but as Max moved closer to her butterflies began to kick up a storm in her tummy.

"Do you ever listen?" He laughed slightly but sensed it was too soon. "I made a mistake when I said it was never going to work. I'm not saying it'll be like before, but I'm not sure I could live with myself if I didn't give this another go. You're just as impossible to get over Zoe Hanna, you know that?"

"You haven't moved on?" She asked hopefully.

"Last night wouldn't have happened if I had, and I wouldn't be standing here right now." Max confirmed as Zoe stepped into his arms, resting her head on his shoulder and hand over his heart as she once again felt truly at home.

"I love you."


End file.
